The Silent Mentor

”If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams

There’s a lot of talk about the importance of having mentors and surrounding yourself with people that will help and challenge you to grow. A mentor is defined as a trusted advisor or guide. All of us at one stage or another need a trusted someone with whom we can bounce off ideas, get guidance, go to for counsel, help with the right connections, provide a different perspective, speak truth in love, and point us in the right direction. More often, these are people who have already achieved quite a bit for themselves, have been on the road you want to be on and are in a position to offer guidance based on their experience and wisdom. In addition, these are people with whom we feel comfortable and trustworthy enough to follow in their footsteps.

There is another element though. How would you feel if I were to tell you that every one of us is a mentor in one way or another? Having a mentorship relationship does not have to be a formal process with an agreement on some steps to take and occasional meetings to touch base on progress. If you think about it, there are people in your life that are your mentors without them being aware of that fact (they are also not always people who have achieved more than you either). They are your mentors/role models simply by being themselves and you looking up to them and learning from them. Their actions and words either encourage you, inspire you, give you courage, give you hope etc., yet they don’t know that you are taking certain pages out of the book of their lives. They don’t know that you are observing them, that their actions or by simply being themselves, translates as mentorship to those around them. Yet they are just living their life, pushing their dreams and working just as hard to achieve their goals, be better people and to get to the next level.

By the same token, who you are, your actions, your passions, your dreams, you hobbies, your standards, your principles, your behaviour, your life may be having the same effect on those around you. As you live out your life in every area - it can be professional, spiritual, physical, financial etc, there’s always someone observing you either intentionally or by default, and they can be impacted negatively or positively by it. You may not have a formal mentorship agreement with them, but your life is impacting them somehow. Being true to who you are, can be birthing something in them to be better, to do better, to be more. Yes, being who you are and working to achieve your desires takes discipline, hard work, effort and focus, yet, it is never always just about you. Successful leaders didn’t get to the top alone, but inspired and took others along with them.

Today, I want to remind you that you are a mentor to someone whether you know it or not. You are a mentor to someone whether there is an agreement or not. Everything that you do is under observation and can influence someone else to be better too. So, which pages should the people around you be taking out of the book of your life?

Prominence vs Significance

“Not everyone is prominent, but everyone is significant”

As much as life is unpredictable, it is equally an adventure – if u choose to look at it that way. This means every moment of every day is cherished, lived to the full. Yet it is not just about living for ourselves, but to also make a difference in other people’s lives.  With end of July being the conclusion of a significant month of celebrating Mandela day and encouraging society to do more for the less fortunate in his honour, it is humbling that only one man can have such a huge impact on a lot of people. When we look at this closely, what really does it take for someone to have such an influence? This is not just any influence, but a positive influence for people to make a difference in other people’s lives.

Is it something that each of us can achieve through our own lives? What really sets him apart from the rest of us, that we honour him so much and dedicate our philanthropic actions to him? He lives just like each of us. He has blood flowing through his veins, goes through human challenges like each of us, yet he has managed to rally such an enormous following of people who are ready to make a difference in society to honour of his name. The truth is that, even though we appreciate such inspiration and should treasure it, every minute of every day is an opportunity for us be the difference. On my trip back from Australia recently I was sitting next to a pastor who said this: “each individual is a full time minister”. I thought this is profound and I am challenged as I believe I have not done enough to contribute to changing lives. In every area of our lives, I believe we each have every opportunity to minister through our life, our actions wherever we are – whether it’s at work, at home, amongst friends, business associates, the till lady at the grocery store, car guard etc. In every moment we have a choice to be significant without necessarily being prominent.

Now Mandela may be prominent in that he is known all over the world, but what strikes me the most about his life is that he has also been significant. Significance doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to be famous/prominent, but it is about making a positive contribution to changing the lives of the people around us for the better. It is linked to our talents and strengths that can be used to benefit other people and up lift other people. It is linked to our purpose. If prominence comes with it, then it should be by default rather than be the goal for helping people. I am challenged to step up my game in being a useful member of my community, making a significant contribution. As Mark Conner once said, “not everyone is prominent, but everyone is significant.”  Which will you choose today?

Tithe yourself

“We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right” Nelson Mandela

With Mandela’s birthday on the horizon, I would like to believe it is the most celebrated birthday in South Africa’s history; probably even the world over. In the past few years, the Mandela Foundation has beckoned a call to all South Africans to give of their time to help the less fortunate in honour of Mandela. This programme has grown over the years and is now known as Mandela Day. So every year, many individuals and companies look out for charities and other opportunities where they can give of their time in honour of uTata and what he stands for. If you think about the principle of tithing, this is really what it is, in a different format. This time around, everyone is asked to tithe themselves and their time.  What does it really mean to tithe people? It has been said that we should live our lives as worship to God. Translated, this means that everything about our lives should be glorifying to God. It means that as we reach out and shine His light in the world, other people’s lives are changed for the better.

In some instances it may seem like what we are doing is not even equal to a drop in the ocean given so much need, but we must never underestimate the power of anything good that we do. We must never underestimate how God can take that little we have in our hands and multiply it to meet the need of the people we are reaching out to – just as He did with the five loaves and two fish. Mandela once said “for to be free isn’t merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” He also said, “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.” Think back to a time when someone came through for you in your time of need. How can that not encourage you to also be there for someone else when they are in need? Our lives should be a light that shines for others to see God in it. Our lives should be not just about what we want for ourselves, but about bringing meaning and purpose in both our lives and those of others. There is a lot of need out there, are you ready to tithe yourself with whatever you can today?  

Note: I first heard of the principle of tithing oneself from a dear friend, Tseliso. Thanks my friend for the encouragement, keep it real!

Tit for Tat

In my job I do internal communications and it’s a give and take process of sharing information. In fact, the ultimate goal of it all is really about facilitating engagement between different parties in the business, making sure that all parties are on the same page in terms of what the business needs to achieve. Often to get people’s interest, one has to go through great lengths to have their attention. Compounded by the fact that we live in an information overload age…one is always competing against many other messages. Sometimes one resorts to ‘bribes’, offering rewards for participation e.g. free food, prizes etc. in return for their participation in surveys, or to show they are listening and possibly understand. It’s sad to have to do this since people should take initiative to get information they require to do their jobs and understand their role in the big picture, but it helps get the people to pay attention to the message.

So is it selfishness or just that people prioritise what they want to hear? In which case, to what extent do we prioritise tuning in and hearing from God? I was challenged. Does God have to offer me rewards and incentives for me to tune in and hear from Him? Does there really have to be something in it for me before I can take time to engage with him?

Out of love, He wants me to spend time with Him so I may know things that He wants to show me. It is about relationship with Him and His will after all – my life and everything about me is His will for me. He said in Jeremiah 33:2-3, “Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you don’t know.”  And regardless of what the outcome is going to be, whether ultimately there are rewards or not, His banner for us is love. He is gentle and won’t force Himself on anyone – instead we are the ones to open the door when He knocks (Rev 3:20). I don’t know about you but I want to bask in His loving arms and prioritise tuning into Him above all so that He can show me great and mighty things for His glory.

Do I qualify?

Is 6:7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Sometimes when we are at a low, or God gives us a Word to do something – we ask ourselves and Him whether we qualify. This has been a human response since the Bible days; it seems to have been the first question we would ask. For some reason, we feel like God made the wrong choice in assigning us to that particular task or in blessing us with something. Often the assignments require us to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone and sometimes it doesn’t make sense but we know it’s from the Lord.

I know I’ve had those moments where I felt God should be using someone else and not me. But the question is “why not me?” After all, I am made in the image of God and for as long as I still have breath, He has a purpose and assignments for me. The most important thing to remember though is that it’s not about me but about His glory. Like Isaiah raised his hand and said “Lord send me”, we should be yielded vessels ready to be used by Him because He wants us to make ourselves available for Him. Jesus, talking about His purpose gave an example to His disciples that He can’t ask God to save him from his purpose for which he was brought to this earth. “… But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father glorify Your name,” Jn 12:23 – 27.

So you ask, do I Qualify? He said “…I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and you will keep my judgements and do them;” Ezekiel 36: 24-27. You ask do I qualify? Think of the simple prayer we pray to Him and say “…May Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven…”Matt 6:10. What are we really saying? You ask Do I qualify? And Paul says “May the God of peace…..make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ to whom be glory forever” – Heb 13:21. You ask do I qualify? And like Jesus said to His disciples “For I have come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent Me...” Jn 6:38. You ask “do I qualify?”  And David said “What is man that you are mindful of him, or the Son on man that You take care of him? You have made him a little lower than the angels; you have crowned him with glory and honor and set him over the works of your hands. You have put all things in subjection under his feet…Heb 2:6-8. You ask, do I qualify? Need I answer that?